Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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