Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
