I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
