Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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