Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
