my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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