after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
