uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
