I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
