The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
