would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
