So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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