there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
