I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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