I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
