how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
