why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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