She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
