I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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