you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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