The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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