She said her name was "party"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
