He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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