And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
