I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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