I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
