eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
