dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
