life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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