Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
