just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
