Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
