oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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