please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
