So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
