she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
