Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
