why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
