I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
