the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
