I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They have beer where we have blood.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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