If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
