how can u be prego again
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
