I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
