Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
