I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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