apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
