she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
