did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
