come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
